Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 9, Episode 3
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the third episode of the ninth series. Key *'HD' – Hugh Dennis *'AP' – Andy Parsons *'RH' – Russell Howard *'CA' – Chris Addison *'EB' – Ed Byrne *'MF' – Micky Flanagan Topics Unlikely Things To Hear At The World Cup *'RH:' I tell you what, that Nelson Mandela is a bit of a dick. *'AP:' And on comes the sub for North Korea... and it's torpedoed the opposition. *'HD:' Heskey scores! *'MF:' There they are, Scotland, through to the final 16. *'EB:' And we're a bit short of time this week, so both sides have been told to just play the highlights. *'RH:' The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net! *'HD:' Well it's very hard to tell with his legs at that angle but no that is definitely a Brazilian. *'CA:' (in Italian accent) Yes on the one hand we lose the tournament but on the plus side it's Dolmio tonight. *'RH:' That's right, Emmanual Adebuyor, I understand exactly what you just said! *'AP:' And the English are taunting the American fans by holding up an oil covered pelican. *'CA:' Oh goody, James Corden's show's on next! *'HD:' England are of course being sponsored by Tesco online and that is why John Terry is being substituted by three ripe avocados. *'AP:' Here we are on safari. There is a giraffe and there is an ostrich--- I'm terribly sorry, it's Peter Crouch's parents. *'HD:' England are playing fantastically. This is a splendid DVD of 1966. *'EB:' And what a shame Ireland couldn't be here, but then Thierry Henri is a filthy cheating lying bitch. *'CA:' You want carpet? Crazy Diego de carpet! Unlikely Letters To Television Channels *'RH:' Dear Channel Five: your recent documentary on dyslexia was insightful and insensitive please show The Boy With Shit For Brains again. *'HD:' As a terrorist, I have been watching Countdown with interest. It is rubbish, nothing happens! *'AP:' Dear News 24: Go to bed. *'MF:' Dear Babestation: have you actually read the trace description there? *'CA:' Dear Bravo: I don't quite know how to put this, but well done. *'EB:' Dear Channel 5: Isn't it time you just called it a day? No one will mourn! *'HD:' I'm writing to thank you. On Sunday afternoon, whilst watching television with my wife, I was urged to press the red button. I did and my wife her first orgasm in forty years. *'RH:' Dear Al Jazzera, please bring back your hit sitcom, Men Behaving Baghdadly. *'MF:' Dear History Channel: The Nazis were bad, we get it. *'CA:' Dear Hallmark: Roses are red, violets are blue, your cards are shit, and your channel is too. *'EB:' Dear Channel 4: Why don't you pricks book me for any of your shows? *'CA:' Dear Sky Sports -1: Thanks for showing the Grand National, I won a hundred thousand pounds. *'AP:' Dear Points Of View, who do I complain to if I think Points Of View is shit? *'HD:' Dear Fiver: If I give you a tenner will you please stop broadcasting? *'RH:' Dear Channel 4: Why not liven up Deal Or No Deal by putting a nail bomb in one of the boxes? Category:Scenes We'd Like To See